1. Stay Busy.
2. Don't be afraid to visit the grave site whenever you want.
3. Acknowledge the death of your child.
4. Converse with everyone that wants to speak with you.
5. Recognize your wife's pain.
6. Listen to your wife, talk with her about your child.
7. Play with your other kids.
8. Protect your marriage.

Anger

1. Deal with your own anger by working it off. I don't mean "walk it off" like a football coach would say to an injured player. Recognize your pain and know it will last for a "time", so spend that time being busy. You may have to work 18 hour days for a few months, then you will see your anger dissipate. I did.
2. Deal with your wife's anger by letting her vent, listening to her. If she is angry this is no time to buy her something like flowers. They will end up in the trash. Her anger is valid and so is yours. Work through it together. Hold her, cry together, look at photos together. Communication is important but silently holding each other while you cry works just as well.
3. The best way to help your surviving children through their anger is spending time together in some sort of activity. Just like you need activity to get you through the pain, they may need activity too. If your kids aren't in sports activities at school, then ride bikes together or shoot hoops together or do some moving activity together. Its OK to begin a new family activity now. Find out what video games your kids play and have them teach you so you can play together.
4. Protect your marriage, protect your family. Recognize if you need help and ask for it.

The house feels very empty now, even if it isn't. You feel all mixed up, confused, frustrated. I know I did. I prayed to God to give me some kind of mind numbing work that I could just do without thinking or talking to anybody for a long while. I didn't know what I was supposed to do next. I spent the summer wiring a 20,000 square foot furniture store. My entire summer was on top of 14 foot ladders with my head in a ceiling. God answered my prayer. There were times when other women would bring their husbands to the foot of my ladder and tell me that their child had died years before and they still hadn't dealt with it as a couple. Somehow they thought I could help. I guess this was God's way of making me deal with my feelings by making me talk. We managed to pass the time for the 6 months following Sara's death, barely holding ourselves together. Eventually, we became more able to deal with the pain or somehow the pain became more bearable. Holding our marriage together, allowing each other to hurt was the priority. Its OK to cry, its OK to look at photos together, its OK to feel this enormous pain. Give yourself permission to grieve and show your pain to your wife. Love each other through this and above all else hold your family together.